


For Tax Purposes

by Mus_musculus



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 04:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15923054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mus_musculus/pseuds/Mus_musculus
Summary: G'Kar navigates Centauri bureaucracy.





	For Tax Purposes

**Author's Note:**

> I keep trying to write serious longfic with a plot, maybe something grappling with B5's dark & difficult themes of colonial violence, and then I open a Google Doc and...this happens.

Nothing about living in the Imperial Palace on Centauri Prime could really be described as boring, but the paperwork came close. Every state had its bureaucracy, and few institutions were as labyrinthine as the Centauri tax system, inside of which G’Kar had been fumbling blindly for the better part of an afternoon. Most of the data he had entered were lies, of course; he hadn’t even briefly considered giving the Centauri accurate information about his personal finances. Londo, who had been reluctantly drafted to assist him, had assured him that this was quite traditional.

 

G’Kar squinted at the viewscreen which was currently displaying the final page of the form, and hit the ‘submit’ button again. Nothing happened, again.

 

“Mollari!”, he hollered to the next room. “It won’t let me go to the next page!”

 

“How can you possibly be this bad at _paperwork_?” Londo shuffled over in his robe and slippers, and put one hand on the back of G’Kar’s chair, stooping to read over his shoulder. After a moment, he pointed at the screen.

 

“There, you see? You forgot to enter your wife’s name/wives’ names.” He used his language’s indeterminate plural form of both words, for an unknown number of people or things. The bulk of their conversation had always been in English, neutral linguistic territory for them both, but certain concepts still demanded their own words. G'Kar was much closer to fluent in Londo's native tongue than Londo was in his, for obvious reasons.

 

“Because I am not married, yes. How do I skip the question?”

 

Londo looked at him, bemused. “You’re not married?”

 

G’Kar boggled. “You thought I was married?”

 

“More...assumed, I suppose.”

 

“You _assumed_ I was married?”

 

“A man of your age and stature? Of course, why not?”

 

G’Kar shook his head in a show of incredulity. After more than a year on Centauri Prime, he was finally beginning to understand that this bizarre attitude- treating spouses as natural disasters, inevitable but inconvenient, best not spoken of aloud in case the name alone summoned them- was typical of Centauri culture, not just 'a Londo thing'. He supposed he should have known that the married man whose bed he had been sharing would expect him to have a wife.

 

“It’s different on Narn”, he explained. “Less formal. If you cohabit with someone long enough, mate with them, share their life, depend on them...the community eventually recognizes the relationship. It happens naturally, it doesn’t require all your pomp and circumstance. And marriages certainly aren’t _arranged_.”

 

There was a pause, and then Londo glanced down at him. “How long?” he asked, in an oddly strangled voice.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“You said ‘long enough’. How long is ‘enough’?

 

G’Kar paused to think.

 

“A year or so?” he offered. “It depends on the people involved, of course. Sometimes it is obvious from the beginning that a relationship is strong and mutually beneficial, and sometimes it is not.”

 

Londo laughed, a little hysterical, and leaned over G’Kar to access the controls. Pecking out the letters with two fingers, he typed LONDO MOLLARI into the empty box.

 

G’Kar stared at the screen. “You are...perhaps not incorrect”, he said. There were no other Narns here to recognize them, and so G'Kar had not recognized it himself. He suppressed a familiar pang of loneliness, and hit the submit button again. The document went through with a quiet 'ping!'

 

“Married _again_ ”, Londo said, with theatrical despair, going over to the cabinet for a celebratory glass of brivari. "Will I never learn?" 

 

“The next time one of the Kha'ri visits the palace, introduce me as your yaltan”, G’Kar suggested. “They’ll have fits.”

 

“And what is that; husband?”

 

“Spouse, partner? It is not gendered.”

 

“Of course it’s not, I should have known. Only civilized languages give you more than one piece of information per word.”

 

“I believe we’ve discussed the c-word, _dear_.”

 

“Old habit. My apologies.” Londo had returned with two full glasses, and kissed G'Kar absently on the forehead as he placed one in front of him. He settled into the armchair next to the desk with his own glass, looking perfectly content.

 

“...You realize, do you not, that this is a legal document? Having submitted it with your name, there will be questions. More documents. Perhaps a ceremony?”

 

Londo sighed. “My staff will keep it quiet”, he said. “We can sign something, that’s enough. It hardly needs to be public knowledge.”

 

“But it _will_ be on record for posterity.”

 

“Who will undoubtedly claim that I was maddened by my unnatural lusts when I freed your planet, yes. Bah. To hell with all of them.” He waved a dismissive hand.

 

“That’s terribly romantic, you know.” 

 

“I _swore_ I’d never marry again. I will have to break the bad news to Timov...”

 

“Your wife quite likes me! I like her as well. She has so many wonderfully humiliating anecdotes about you.”

 

“Oh, I regret this already.”


End file.
